Grand Day,
This will be the first part of what I assume to be many parts on LOVE. I love love. Sometimes I can be addicted to receiving outside feelings of love. I try to remind myself that I need to love me first always, in order to be in an adequate position to give and receive with ease. It’s simple, but not easy.
I started my first romantic “relationship” in eighth grade. It was with a boy in my grade, we met the prior year. At first he was not interested in me as a person because I rarely care about my physical appearance or keeping up with trendy apparel. Before starting the relationship we were definitely the best of friends. We just enjoyed cracking jokes on each other and others and that made us pretty cool for a while. Summer passed and skipping to the 9th grade year, from my perspective he was falling into a pool of depression. He seemed to be aware of it and we were back to seeing each other daily since the school year started back up.
I, not being aware of love or his depression, was usually in my own world. I was also only interested in Track & Field and my favorite MMORPG Runescape.
Of course, both before and after him, I experienced my own cycles of depression. Seasonal depression is one of my usual downfalls, but it would be a lie to say I did not also experience it “randomly” throughout the year. Without getting too deep into the depressive part, the relationship ended as he tried to gradually bring me to a state of love, but I would even reject the smallest conversations about it. Unfortunately I do still experience the low cycles, meditation and crystals definitely lessen the pain during and help guide me out, back into a state of love.
LOVE HURTS
I asked someone I’ve recently began being romantic with what love meant to her. At first she replied it hurt. I can understand that answer, especially in a place of growth. I felt a “love” that hurts. I would argue that if it is really love it does not cause any pain.
It was the same time around 2015 when I began rejecting oppressive love I felt from my parents and accepting only that which I felt vibrated on the same level as I. I have around 3-4 sets of parents at this point in my life. They have all taught me very much about love, from self love, to friendships, to romantic love, and family love. Unfortunately, one of the parents rarely ever makes me “feel” loved, regardless of how many times it is verbalized. I once had a theory that love never needed to be said, it simply needs to be genuinely given and received and than it is naturally felt.
LOVING YOURSELF
Loving yourself is knowing yourself and how you show appreciation. Know how you prefer to give and receive love. Stay conscious that you love in and outside of yourself, righteously. Understand when you are hurt, and why. Stay aware of how to return to your state of love. Love is different for everyone. For me, an early morning meditation, some ripe fruit, and good music can bring my back to my state of love. Having open and honest conversations about recent (or old if I’m clogged up) interactions that may have led me to the place of gloom helps as well. I always keep it real with myself when I have made a mistake, when I overreact, and when I know my highest self is not in control of my actions. It typically only hurts me the most when I dwell in the spaces of unlove, and of course there are ripple effects for those around me.
I love showing gratitude. It is a fine way to immediately dig yourself out of a ditch. One of my get better quick tips it to think, type, or write(preferred) down 5-10 things I am grateful for, whether they are past, present or future. Depending on my state of anxiety/depression, it may be best to work on that which I am thankful for in the present, the now. There is almost something to be thankful for. Once the list is complete, I read it aloud to myself. If there is a friend or love near and dear, I share it with them. Remember to heal and love yourself it so heal and love the planet and those around you.
OKAY THEN, WHAT IS LOVE?
Love is understanding. Love is access to peace, harmony, balance. If this makes sense, imbalance is apart of balance. Love is unconditional. Unconditional is without limit, without if’s or but’s or maybe’s but simply love. Sometimes I experience rough patches in life, in order to reach a new level of love we hold for ourselves.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about when we fall out of love with ourselves. We reach out to help from loved ones. When we make mistakes, we must learn and grow from them. To continuously waste energy by repeating the same mistakes, as if the lesson has not been learned is dangerous. It leads one to a constant cycle of disarray and as we graciously inch back into harmony, it intimidates us. The harmony is reached by loving yourself. You have to love yourself first to love anyone.
Be nice to yourself. That intuitive or mindful voice needs to be sweet and pleasant as you go through your journey. Be gentle with the mistakes made and have positive reinforcement if things seem to go astray. Just like showing gratitude, try to find at least one positive thing as a change or switch in plans or life occurs. Find a way to make it for the better, for it to provide you with growth and to push you down your path.
Journal, take a walk and sit with nature, meditate, sing, dance, etc. Find what works best for your and try writing it all down as you experience. Write down the good and the bad. Remember to still be thankful in times of joy, peace, and happiness. Give some to those in need, where it is consensual and necessary.
Crystals are a great reminder to love ourselves and others. It does not need to be worn or even held. It can be nearby, on a shelf or at the corner of your desk. Pink and green stones are the spirits finest way to restore a state of love. Rose Quartz has been coined “the stone of love”. The heart chakra is green, so using a green stone, like emerald, will resonate with the heart chakra and return it back it to a state of balance. Buy this set and give one to a friend or lover(or keep both for yourself and alternate them!). When you can remain conscious of the crystals surrounding you and it’s loving vibrations. Be mindful that emerald is a stone that wears energy heavily and it needs to be cleansed after being worn or using during an intense meditation.
Amethyst and Aventurine are paired together in our “Love” set. Click here to view
